he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
