my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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