And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
