so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize