I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
