I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
