Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
