Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
