Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
