There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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