WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
