I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
