barbara walters just said penis...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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