Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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