I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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