Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
