Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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