First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
