just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
