I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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