whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
