i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
