i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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