Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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