That's intense
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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