Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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