He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize