There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
where am i from again
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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