he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize