I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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