Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
