One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize