He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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