does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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