I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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