I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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