You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
