I CAN MOONWALK!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
