i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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