Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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