I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
