and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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