trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
