hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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