I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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