I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
