wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
