So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
