I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Your dad touched me again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize