Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
