The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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