I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
