I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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