oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
