i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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