So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize