adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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