if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
