my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
