Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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