If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
