yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
