just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
